What’s Stopping Me?

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! I sooooo wanna eat! Argh! It’s not that I am hungry, I am comfortably full, and it’s not like I didn’t get my little sweet at the end of the day, I used 2 flex points and had a snack I probably shouldn’t of had – it’s just that for some reason I want to eat, like, right now! Anything I can find! I want fooooooooood!

I swear, if tomorrow wasn’t weigh in day I’d raid the kitchen and make half hearted promises to myself that I’d make it up the rest of the week. This is so not good! Hell, I’m tempted to go to bed just so I can try to sleep through this cause honestly, I don’t know how well I am going to be able to resist this urge to eat. My willpower is only so strong…and this week, that sure as hell isn’t strong!

I got no exercise this week cause some of the evenings I had stuff to do after work so I got home too late to be able to use the hiking path, also, it’s been raining a lot so the trail is probably all mud right now, ugh. That’s the main problem I find with having my main form of exercise be an outdoors thing – if the weather sucks I can’t hike.

The lack of exercise and having used a lot of flex points at the beginning of the week is making me way concerned for weigh in tomorrow. I really really really don’t want to gain (duh! who would?) And I swear my tummy is sticking out more then normal – what’s worse is my work pants seemed snugger yesterday – I am not sure if they really were or if I am imagining things and there is always the possibility if they are snugger it’s due to me accidentally shrinking them (hey, it’s possible!) and not cause I gained weight…sigh…I dunno, I think they were snugger, and my tummy looks like it’s sticking out more, and I ate badly this past week, what with Indian food and Old Spaghetti Factory and random flex points during the week – who knows what kind of damage I have done. And then today, with all I want to do is eat eat eat…

I wonder if it has anything to do with my new probiotics…I bought a new kind and maybe they are messing with my digestion and thereby making my tummy stick out? *curious face* I dunno…I am grasping at straws at this point, and I suppose this could all be in my head and things will be fine at weigh in tomorrow but we all know by now that the night before weigh in I stress and freak out a bit wondering if I screwed up so bad I gained instead of lost – it’s practically tradition! lol

Today I ate:

2 weetabix = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

Stir Fry

    – 1 cup rice = 4 points

    – mixed veggies = 0 points

    – teriyaki sauce = 0 points

    – uber small amount of tofu, chicken, shrimp = 2 points

Market Vegetable Blend soup = 4 points

12 mini bretons = 1 point

30 grams light cheese = 2 points

6 pickles = 1 point

1 dinner bun = 1 point

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1 babybell = 1 point

1 pckg Quaker Crunch’ers = 2 points

Total points eaten = 22

sigh. I was only supposed to eat 20 points worth and would have hit that perfect if I didn’t have that final snack of the Quaker Crunch’ers but it was either eat that and use 2 points on something I knew (in my head, not my tummy) would be filling enough I wouldn’t need anything else or eat a 1 point tiny little chocolate and end up caving later cause I wanted something more – I opted for the 2 points cause it seemed the smarter decision for the long run.

The stir fry I had for lunch was from one of those places where you pick your veggies and meat/tofu from a buffet style layout and they stir fry it (using water) right in front of you then put it on top of rice. Yum! Thing is, it’s based on weight so I always try to pick the lighter veggies, lol, doesn’t always work tho, shrug. I took a tiny piece of chicken, 2 small cubes of tofu and 2 little shrimps for a bit of protein – I don’t have any way to calculate the points for them except I know each was in such a small amount to not even equal 1 point each so I figure combined those three items equal 2 points at most. The food was tasty – I love places like that, where you can’t really screw up, whatever you eat is gonna be healthy – makes it easier. lol.

I am gonna go cross my fingers and toes that tomorrows weigh in goes well, I’ll let ya know!

I Can’t Believe I Forgot!

So, yeah, I forgot about you…who you? You who read my blog! It’s the weekend, I weigh in on the weekends so I always blog on the weekend to let you know how that went and somehow, by some weird mystery of the universe I forgot! Aaaahhhhhhh! Crazed!

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to blog on Saturday cause of errands, then work and then getting home from work stupid late (even later then I had planned cause the job ran late, so boo cause I was way tired but yah cause extra moola!) but today? Simple quiet Sunday, you’d think I’d have been on the comp way earlier, but no, I actually did stuff today, weirdness. Not fun stuff, lol, just errands and then sorting my closet and cleaning my room – it’s still messy btw, my cleaning only got partly done and I got bored with it, lol, but there I was, contemplating reading for an hour before trying to fall asleep and all of a sudden, bam!, I remembered you!

Try not to take it too personally, I have a flighty forgetful personality.

Ok, let’s recap Saturday’s big evilness – both of them! The first was the blood test, ugh, they took 4 vials of my blood! FOUR!! Vampires! Grr. Who knows what the results will be or when I will get them, shrug, but at least that is done with. Oh, and you should all be proud of me cause I managed to let the lady draw my blood without me swearing at her or kicking her…you think that’s a joke but I have done both, more then once. What can I say, it’s reflex! I think part of it was cause I warned her in advance my body doesn’t like giving up my blood and my veins are stupid tiny so she used a thinner needle (like kids sized thinner lol) and it was all good. She didn’t have to do that thing where she sticks the needle in then wiggles it around trying to get in the vein or stick me multiple times cause she can’t hit the vein, and she only had to poke the one arm! No trying both arms hoping one will be better then the other (which neither one is better then the other, they are both small veined and resistant to letting blood be taken from them) so really, it was a not so bad experience. After that was over I treated myself to Vietnamese food for lunch – my deal with myself was if I didn’t kick or swear I was allowed a treat and that was it. I tried a new restaurant, it’s near my place and I was really hoping I’d have a new regular spot cause man, I looooove Vietnamese food but alas, not so much. I got the food as take out (I prefer eating at my house) and ordered a dish I have often cause I knew I’d like it (I like doing that with new restaurants, ordering a dish I know what it should be like so I have previous experience to compare the food to) Now, the food was very yummy, beef was super tender, everything tasted really great, but it was expensive! Cost me way more for that dish then in other Vietnamese restaurants I have been in so, sadness, probably won’t go back there again. I s’pose one good thing about the price is for 2 spring rolls it was $8 so I didn’t order them thereby saving me calories lol. Looks like my cheapness has benefits besides saving my bank account from screaming.

Saturday's Lunch, Grilled Beef w/ Vermicelli

So, the even better part of Saturday? My weigh in! Yeah I know, who’d of thunk right? lol. I lost 1 pound! Yah! Puts me at 28.6 pounds lost total. Can’t be unhappy with that! lol.

Two great things to celebrate, losing weight and not kicking the lady who took my blood. What an awesome start to a Saturday. lol. My evening job went really great too, lasted an hour and a half longer then planned and I got a tip so woohoo! I will put that cheque in the bank tomorrow, it’ll help make up for the days I missed at my weekday job cause of being sick. Phew!

Let’s see, Sunday…it was one of those days where I woke up and my first real thought was “I’m gonna end up eating over my daily points” Do you ever have those days? What’s weird is I don’t know why I thought that, not like I was hungry, or planning to meet up with someone to eat out, shrug, don’t know, just a feeling I had. Well, I did go over but only by like half a point so that’s not so bad. It was one of those days where I wasn’t hungry, but I wanted to eat, and when I wanted to eat I wanted to eat everything which made it hard to pick what to eat cause for every one item I pick I will have to discard like 4 other options and I was apparently very unable to make food decisions today. Annoying. I ended up eating a croissant breakfast sandwich that I made cause well, the croissant was bought friday evening so it didn’t have many days left of being fresh and no way I could fit a 5 point bread item in to my food plan on a normal day, so there we go, one decision made. lol. I mostly ate bits of this, pieces of that…no realy organization to my food. I thought I was actually gonna end up 2 points under cause I went to clean my room and by the time I stopped I was thinking more about bed then anything else but I was foiled when I came out to the kitchen to get my lunch for tomorrow ready, what can I say, I got around food and my stomach let me know in no uncertain terms it wanted food. lol. Ah well, not like being under in points is good either so I’d rather be a tiny bit over then under by 2 – I’m actually still trying to convince myself of this. lol.

Oh, tip for you, when buying a croissant, the Safeway Bakery is way better then Wal-Mart Bakery. I don’t know why I was so surprised by this, shrug, I guess I thought a croissant is a croissant and how could it be screwed up but nope, Wal-Mart totally managed to make them be nowhere near as good as normal. *rolls eyes* The last 2 croissants I ate (before today) were from Wal-Mart, then todays was from Safeway, yeah, Safeways was totally better and still nice and moist even though I bought it Friday evening…the ones from Wal-Mart go hard and stale by the next morning. Not cool.

Crunchy Like A Beetle!

I decided to buy dates this weekend…I tried one before Christmas at someone’s house and it was weird but good…in a really odd way…It had a coating on it that made it sweet, I wonder what that coating was? Anyways, they had been on my mind lately and I really wanted to buy them. I didn’t totally remember what they tasted like, I did remember they had a weird texture…but they were good so why not try them again?

I bought this container of them, they seem to only get sold in really big containers, shrug, so I now have a lot of them! 50 grams of dates is 3 points – I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad until today when I had my first serving, 50 grams of dates is a lot of dates, way more then you would want to eat in one sitting (imo), I however didn’t know this so I measured out my 50 grams and started snacking, lol, duuude, it took me forever to eat them all cause at one point I was just like “no more!”

Before my first bite I was looking at one of them up close, I think in future when eating dates they should not be looked at…just use peripheral vision to eat them cause they totally looked like a pile of dead bugs, ugh, and my first tentative bite made me wonder if the slight crunch I was experiencing from the coated outside is in anyway similar to the crunch of a beetle’s shell…yeah, I know, pleasant thought huh? lol. Hey, count yourself lucky! You only read about these thoughts, I have them all the time!

see? don't they look like beetles?

So now I have eaten tuna that reminds me of cat food and dates that remind me of beetles. The dates are good though, I decided I like them but in future I will eat maybe 25 grams at a time…

Oh, so weigh in day was yesterday – I didn’t forget to post about it exactly, it was more that the number wasn’t all that exciting so I didn’t get around to it…and with that wonderful build up, lol, I did lose weight, and I am working to remember that any loss is a good loss - I should get that tattooed on my arm as my new motto So, my loss was a whopping 0.2 lbs…yup, you read that right. sigh. For those of you who don’t feel like digging out my weigh in day post from last week (and I’m guessing that’s all of you lol) the total weight loss amount is now 26.6 lbs.  I may not be all that thrilled with only having lost 0.2 lbs this week but I am happy with how much I have lost in total…I just need to focus on that number I think.

Epic!

Yesterday was an Epic day – in all ways!

It started off with breakfast with KL at the Crepe Cafe, a restaurant that does not provide any nutritional information, grr to that! lol. Restaurants not providing nutritional information has become quite a pet peeve of mine, sigh. So I went online today and googled nutritional information for some of the items in my breakfast so I could at least get an approximation of what I ate. I had eggs benedict with hash browns, yum! And yes I know, point wise it was a bit of a nightmare. lol. The eggs and english muffin I was able to calculate but the hollandaise sauce and back bacon I had to look up. Gotta love the internet!

On www.caloriegallery.com I found that for 1.37 ml of hollandaise sauce the points are 6. Now, I have no real concept of what 1.37 ml is…is that a serving? Half a serving? I dunno…so I am couting 6 points for the sauce. Although, the sauce is not classic hollandaise sauce, I know this cause of how it tasted and the texture. It seemed more whipped, lighter, thinner…and to be honest, didn’t taste all that great. It wasn’t not good tasting it just wasn’t the right flavour for the sauce, ya know? It burns my ass a bit that I wasted points on something that doesn’t taste all that good but oh well, it’s done with now. shrug. If I remember I will look at a package of the sauce at the grocery store tomorrow and check out the nutritional info, see if that varies from the website, also, I’ll have a better understanding of the measurement of the serving on the packaging so that should help me to understand better.

The hash browns, sigh, I ended up using the nutritional information from a restaurant called Perkins Restaurant…I have never heard of them but I am going to assume that most restaurants make their hash browns in a similar manner and serve similar portions…cross your fingers I am right! lol. Nutritional calculator put the hash browns at 2 points per serving, so it could be worse. Oh, and the back bacon, for 3 slices it is 1 point (that is Maple Leaf brand btw), there were 2 slices on each benny but I didn’t eat it all so I figure I maybe ate in total 3 pieces of the bacon but prob not. Either way, it’s only 1 point so that’s fine.

In total, that breakfast cost me 16 points which is absolutely ridiculous! It was a special day though so I am gonna just let it go and forget about it.

The reason it was a special day? Harry Potter came out!!!! That was why KL and I met up for breakfast, we went to the 11:15 am showing of Harry Potter and thought we’d eat first. That movie, epic! I won’t say anything specific about it cause I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but let me just say – you should see it! There you go, I will leave you alone now. lol

After the movie KL and I went shopping, her bday was this past wednesday and friday night was gonna be her party so we had to find her something to wear! She already had an outfit but wanted to see if she could find something better. shrug. Makes sense to me. I already had an outfit picked out too but she somehow ended up convincing me to buy this dress we came accross and made me promise to wear it to the bar. Now, here’s the thing, I don’t wear dresses, not my thing. I mean, if I absolutely have to I can wear a dress but I don’t. lol. Dressing up for me is wearing nice pants and a well, a nice top. lol. Pair it with some jewellry and voila I am done. I wasn’t allowed to get away with that this time. The dress is kinda simple, it has an empire waist (which is good cause it helps hide my tummy and the full width of my hips!) and it shows off my breasts quite nicely. teehee. Hey, if you got it flaunt it! It has no sleeves so I worried I’d freeze but ah well, sacrifices must be made for fashion. *rolls eyes*. I have been engaged in an epic search for a pair of rockin boots, still looking btw, sigh, if I had found a pair I would have worn them with the dress but instead I wore black tights and black flats. I was pleasantly surprised how good I looked, the 18 lbs lost was totally noticeable in that outfit…and in how I felt in that outift.

Oh, so back to the epic day, after the shopping we each went home, groomed, I scarfed down a salad and some toast, then out to party town I went. I hadn’t decided how much I was gonna drink…it’s a hard decision to make. I was factoring in calories, parking, public transit, temperature, possible hangover, all kinds of things but the deciding factor that actually made my decision for me? I left my place and walked in to a snow storm…well, storm is an exageration but it was snowing and boom! decision made! No way in hell would I be taking public transit, at night, in the cold windy snow falling weather to get to the bar and then repeating that but later at night when it is going to be even colder to get home…not in that outfit! Nuh-uh! So, I drove downtown, got a wicked great parking spot, had one or two drinks right at the very beginning of the night to toast my friend’s bday and then chugged water the rest of the night and danced the night away. I love dancing. It’s a good thing that’s how it went down too cause by the end of the night KL was sick, everyone was so amazing plastered, and they all missed the last seabus back to the north shore so they’d of had to spend a fortune to get a cab so I did the dd thing and gave em all a ride home. Didn’t get home till about 3:30am which meant I slept in even later then normal today but I figure that’s better then all of them having to find a way home when they were that drunk. shrug.

All in all, yesterday, like I have said, was Epic. A totally awesome day from beginning to end!

Today…not so awesome. I slept so late that when I woke up I felt sick…weird, huh? If I didn’t know how much I actually drank I’d think I was hungover but I can’t be, sigh, so I am not sure exactly what is wrong. shrug. I have a headache, am tired, felt so incredibly sick to my stomach earlier, ugh, not pleasant. I guess such an Epic day should be followed by a crappy day – the universe has to balance itself out right? lol. I finally managed to be able to eat and for the day am sitting at 16 points total, I am not gonna be able to get any higher cause (1) it’s 11:30pm and when this is done I am gonna go to bed and (2) tummy is still anti food and just couldn’t handle more. Oh, and for all it’s unhappiness I kept wanting to get McDonald’s today, lol, I think cause when I am hung over I would eat either kraft dinner or McDonald’s, I don’t have any KD in the house and McD’s is really close so my brain kept wandering to McD’s, lol, but I decided no cause I don’t feel well and I wouldn’t enjoy it as much as I would if I was eating it when I felt fine and well, I didn’t want to go driving in the snow just for a big mac lol. So then my brain clicked over at one point to timbits from Tim Horton’s, sigh, and yum. lol. I was contemplating going to Timmy’s and getting 5 timbits cause that would use the rest of my points for the day and I could just sit and vegg while gorging on them but that went out the window cause I didn’t know when they closed and couldn’t find store hours online, if I got all the way there and they were closed I’d have a fit! lol, also, it seemed a stupid way to eat my points and it was just too much effort for my poor headachy body. shrug. So I made some tea and had a weight watcher wrap with some light peanut butter and nutella in it, yum! It fixed my craving for sweet and was easier and cheaper to do. Yah!

I am sure tomorrow will be a more normal day, no recovering or partying or anything, which I think I am looking forward to. But, one more thing before I go…

WEIGH IN DAY!! I wasn’t gonna weigh myself today, what with the crazy day of yesterday but I decided to give it a go and this past week I lost…1 pound! Yah! That means I am at 19 pounds total! I think 1 pound is great since the whole week I felt off and diconnected to my food choices. I can’t wait to be able to say I lost 20 pounds, hopefully that will be next saturday!

TV Coma

I love long weekends, who doesn’t? I usually try to do something at least mildly productive during them since I have three wonderful days off work instead of just two but so far I have done nothing but mimic a sloth – I must say, my sloth abilities are deserving of top marks.

Today I slept in, ate, then sat on the couch and proceeded to watch whatever was on…I caught some tv show episodes and also watched a couple movies I hadn’t gotten around to seeing yet. But now, approximately 8 hours after turning the tv on I am realizing my brain has stopped functioning and is in a partial coma…hmmm…

I have been so lazy today that it took me until after 11pm to turn on my laptop – because it just seemed like to much work! Too much work? It has been sitting within arms reach of me all day…but it was going to take too much effort to reach over, flip open the lid and press that power button…I can’t remember a time I have been so lazy (unless I am sick but that doesn’t count! lol). I figure before I go crawling off to bed to continue with my all day sleep fest I should do something mildly purposeful  – hence my post.

I had weigh in day today, I’d say I don’t want to talk about it but duh! this blog is all about the weight I am trying to lose so it seems only fair to keep you in the loop. This week was an epic fail, sigh. I want to lie and say I maintained but I didn’t…I gained 0.2 pounds…:( I am hanging my head in shame and sitting in a corner due to this failure. double sigh. Well, ok, I should be sitting in a corner with my head hanging but instead I lay on my couch all day attempting to fry brain cells in the hopes of forgetting what a screw up I am with my weight loss.

I can’t believe it! I really can’t, what the hell is going on??? I know I had that fish n chips last weekend but I was only one point over for the day that day and this week I worked really hard at hitting my points exactly, I had a couple days where there were snags but not so many I thought it’d screw up weigh in day. I hate weigh in day. Grr.

I have decided that I have hit some kind of stupid plateau, I know according to weight watcher rules I can’t say that till I have had 4 sucky weeks in a row but why the heck would I wait another week, for another crappy weigh in result to do something about this problem? I am going to have to do something I really really really don’t want to do…I am going to have to…exercise. Noooooooooooo!!! I don’t wanna! (now picture me stomping my foot, crossing my arms and getting a pouty face) I used to have nothing against exercise, I went everyday after work and weekends too, I did classes, cardio, weights, all kinds of different things but that was a lifetime ago, that girl was a different girl and I don’t know if I can be her again. The girl I am now, she doesn’t know how to do all that active stuff anymore, and the things she does remember she doesn’t want to do because she doesn’t want anyone seeing all her fat jiggle. That’s right, you heard me (well, read me) I don’t exercise cause I don’t want other people to see how much my fat moves around. FYI, when I say people I mean guys.

Not like I think guys are looking at me when I exercise, or if they are it’s with alarm that someone so red in the face is around them and may collapse at any moment – that prob needs a minor explanation, lol, my face goes alarmingly red with very minor exertion, it goes red enough I have had perfect strangers come up and ask if I am ok because I look like I am about to keel over or something.  It was funnier when I was in shape (all those years ago), now, combine the red face with the heaving breath and the fat body and people really do think I am gonna keel over and that’s just not cool.

I tried out a couple different gyms on trial runs hmmm, last year maybe? I can’t afford any of them so even if I found one I wanted to join it wouldn’t matter but none of them were gyms I liked. Most were unisex so I had to deal with all these hot guys around and that just made me uncomfie – the really in shape women made me equally as uncomfie cause I kept thinking they were silently judging me or something. Oh, and yes, I am aware probably way fewer people pay attention to me then I think but hey, I live in my world and in that world a lot of people look at me daily and it stresses me out. There was one gym that was all ladies but it’s not all that great and costs way too much considering the equipment and classes available.

Now however I am going to hafta do something active because I am sick of the disaster I have had on the scale three weeks running. There is a medium/strenuous hiking trail near my place, it’s 3.8km long so I guess I should start walking that. sigh. There is another hiking path I found by accident months ago that I guess I will try to re-find so I don’t always have to do the same path. Other then that I am not sure what to do. I don’t like exercising at home cause it means I am in the living room and I don’t like the idea of my roomie seeing me exercising (she’s in shape so I’m back to the thinking a thin girl will be judging me). There is a hot yoga place near me I thought I’d try but it’s stupid expensive – why do exercise places have to cost so damn much?!?!?! You’d think the gov would regulate stuff like that since they want all of us to stop being so out of shape and such a drain on the health system, eesh.

If anyone has any suggestions for exercises that don’t involve a gym I am so up for hearing about them! For now though I am going to have to get active in whatever way I can manage. This means that the rest of my lazy long weekend has to not be lazy, least not all the time. Sad. I am going to attempt to hike that trail tomorrow (weather permitting) and maybe sometime over the weekend I will walk to the train station to see how long it would take, there is one near my place and one far from my place. If I take runners to work in the morning I could walk to the station near my place and after work get off at the one far from my place and walk home, enforced exercise. I wonder though, is it better to do that or better to drive home like always and then go for the hike – the hike has more up and down hills and I wouldn’t have to stop for red lights etc…it’s something to think on anyways.

Here is what I ate today (keep in mind I was lazy and unhappy cause of the stupid scale):

1 toasted sandwich

    – 1 scrambled egg = 2 points

    – 2 pieces toast = 2 points

    – 2 pieces turkey bacon = 2 points

    - 1 cheese slice = 1 point

    – tomato slices and ketchup = 0 points

1 cup pineapple = 1 point

18 pieces Maltesers = 4 points

1 whole wheat tortilla = 2 points

1/2 tblsp light peanut butter = 1 point

1/2 tblsp nutella = 1 point

1 package Jolly Time Kettle Corn = 1 point

fruit smoothie = ? points

So, the points that can be added up are 19 points but I don’t know what the smoothie is. I took some frozen mixed berries and put them in the magic bullet with milk to make a smoothie. I measured half a cup of milk and a cup of berries but it was too thick so I added some more milk and that made it too runny so I added a bit more berries and finally it was ok but with all the adding of little amounts of milk and berries I ended up not knowing exactly how much I used. It should have been a 2 point shake but it went over that, how much it went over however, I am not sure. And, to top all that, it wasn’t even worth it! lol. My roomie drinks them all the time so I figured I’d do it and all it tasted like was milky fruit, not as gross as it sounds but really bland. I asked her about it and turns out she uses vanilla flavoured soy milk so hers tastes better, and she adds a bit of sugar. Ah well, it was an attempt and even though it didn’t work it got me some more fruit which is always good.  

I am not looking forward to tomorrow and my having to exercise, ugh, this is gonna suck but if it shows results on the scale next week I guess that’ll make it worth it…now to find my small iPod so I can have it all charged an ready…crap, I have no idea where I left that thing…

Step Away From the Moose!

wOOt! wOOt! there was cake at work and guess who didn’t have any? Me! Oh yah! I am back! lol.

It was birthday day at work – once a month at work cakes are brought in to cover the bdays of everyone for that month in all departments…sometimes that is a lot of people! Since we are a growing company and there are now a lot more of us (in all departments) there was more then just cake this month. There was a big thing of chocolate moose, tirimasu and a cake that had a base of chocolate chip cookie and then frosting and then fruit on top. Interesting…to look at that is!

I went with friends who were going to eat the treats so I could chat an hang out with them but all I got from the kitchen was a cup of tea. I was tempted by the chocolate moose but I managed to stare at it longingly and not actually eat it. I was tempted to ask for a tiny tiny taste of someone elses moose but decided that’d just be putting me back in the same boat I was in after having a couple bites of that cake last weekend so I followed the look-no-touch rule. I feel so good about myself that I didn’t cheat!

I ran out of food to take to work so mid afternoon I was hungry but had nothing to eat.  I could’ve gotten some toast from the kitchen but didn’t want to use points that way so I made myself wait till I got home then had a double serving of baked beans. lol. It was funny, I got in the door and didn’t even have my shoes off before I was turning on a burner and opening a can of beans. It was good though - I hadn’t had baked beans in a while so altho they were not a new taste it was one I hadn’t gotten to taste in a couple weeks…lol. I eat a lot of the same stuff so occaisionally I get a bit bored with my food choices but hey, I’d rather be a bit bored then getting fatter!

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I am fluctuating between excited and concerned. Last wednesday I really wanted to step on the scale, weird huh? I never want to step on that stupid thing, grr to the scale! But for some reason on wednesday I felt like if I stepped on it I’d have a smaller number then last weigh in day and I really wanted to test this theory…but I didn’t. If the number hadn’t gone down I’d be depressed and if it had gone down then I wouldn’t be as suprised saturday and I enjoy the thrill I get on saturdays when I step on the scale and the number has gone down.   So that is the excited part, I want to see a smaller number…if I lose enough I will be at my ten pounds lost mark and man do I want to hit that mark! The concerned part is because I don’t think I look any different and I don’t feel (anymore) like I have lost any weight this week, I am scared the number is going to be the same…just like last weigh in day. Eek! I always dreaded the week the number didn’t go down, then it really happened and it was a pretty bad feeling, now I am super dreading having that happen again. There is nothing I can do at this point so I shouldn’t stress over it…people on the Biggest Loser always stay the same weight or gain on the weeks they have been stressed cause stress can totally screw up your weight loss attempts but I can’t stop thinking about it. shrug. What can I say, this weight loss thing is overwhelmingly in my head.

Today I ate:

3/4 cup Blueberry Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 cup grapes =1 point

1 cup Lentil and Veggie Soup = 1 point

1 light babybell = 1 point

carrots = 0 points

1 kiwi = 1 point

1 cup Heinz Maple Baked Beans = 4 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 whole wheat wrap = 2 points

1/2 tbsp light peanut butter = 1 point

1/2 tbsp nutella = 1 point

2 Hershey’s Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

Hit the 22 point mark again today, yah! This week has been good for hitting my points perfectly, and I am glad for it cause I want to lose weight this week instead of maintain. I have been good everyday this week for drinking lots of fluids – I have anywhere from 2 to 4 cups of tea per day at work as well as 2 to 3 glasses of water, then I come home and have at least 1 cup of tea and 2 glasses of water. That means everyday this week I have had my 8 glasses of fluid or more that is recommended by the “experts”, since those “experts” also say that drinking 8 glasses of fluid per day (or more) will help you lose weight I am hoping drinking all this fluid will give me a good result on the scale tomorrow. See how everything comes back to that stupid scale? lol

Can tonight just not end…please?

Tomorrow is weigh in day; the first real one since vacation happened. I don’t want it to happen…I am…scared. sigh. Scared of a stupid scale, it seems so pathetic and yet, here I am, scared of the little digital monster! I don’t want to see that the number has gone up, I have this recurring image of the number on the scale being larger then when this whole journey started. Oh my.

oh the fear this is me!

I haven’t cheated since I have been back – so 2 days of perfection! I had two days of travel where I was not great but not perfect – 1 day under 1 day I am not sure about (cuz of those oh so yummy hash browns, Mmm). Then there were my last 3 vacation days – 1 of which had McD’s, and 2 of which had food festivals and fast food from a fair ground. See why I am scared??

I will keep this short cause no one wants to read about my neurosis, lol, so – today I ate:

3/4 cup Almond Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 cup Carrot and Corriander with Lemon soup = 2 points

1/2 cup Sidekicks Broccoli and Cheese Rice = 3 points

mixed peppers, carrots, snap peas = 0 points

1.5 cup strawberries = 1 point

1 grilled cheese sandwich

    – 2 pieces of bread = 2 points

    – 2 Kraft cheese slices = 2 points

    – 2 slices turkey bacon = 2 points

    – 1 tblsp Light Miracle Whip = 1 point

1 cup Carrot and Corriander with Lemon soup = 2 points

This means so far I have eaten 20 points, so I still get a 3 point snack! I have no idea what I am gonna snack on but rest assured I will find something! lol.

Wish me luck for tomorrow!

Weigh In Day #2

Do a little dance, make a little love. Get down tonight! Get down tonight! wOOt!

Strap on your dancing shoes we got something to celebrate! Week 2 and I lost weight again!

Another 1.8 pounds gone! Seems to be my magic number. lol.

It was a weird weigh in day; I woke up early, 9am (hey, on a saturday that is early!) and stumbled in to the washroom cause all that water I drank last night before bed really needed out. lol. I figured why not weigh myself since I was there so I stood on the scale and wtf?!?! It said I gained 0.2 pounds. Well, that was not a happy moment! I stumbled my way back to bed and tried to figure out what happened. Could my glasses account for the weight? Last week I had my contacts in. Did I go over my points and not realize it? I know I ate a lot of points at the night market at the beginning of the week but since then I hadn’t gone over my points at all so I should have been ok. Am I cursed? shrug. A lot of things went through the brain. I decided to go back to sleep cause I didn’t want to think about it anymore. All that work just to gain 0.2 pounds? What’s the point?

When I woke up again hours later I stayed in bed reading for a while (that’s my fave way to start a saturday) and tried to ignore the fact that apparently I am getting fatter. ugh. When I finally got up I decided to re-weigh myself and I was showing as being down the 1.8 pounds I am currently celebrating. WTF??? Here is what I figure; last week I weighed in late in the day, after lunch time, and when I weighed in the second time today it was closer to the same time…I think that matters. So from now on I am going to be weighing in early afternoon…no more of this morning weigh in crap. lol.

After seeing the smaller number I decided I needed to do something to celebrate. It was suggested to me that every week when I weigh in I put $5 in a piggy bank and when I reach my goal weight take the money and celebrate (with something that isn’t food!) I thought I should be more strict, only weeks I lose weight will the money go in; after all it’s like a congrats thing, right, and I shouldn’t get the money if I don’t do well that week. Either way it’s a good suggestion. However, there was a mix up with my paycheque on friday and I didn’t get one so I don’t have any money to put in to a piggy bank this week, instead I decided to find something to treat myself with when I was out.  I so found something too! It is food related which is probably not a good thing but it’s healthy so it’s not as bad as it could be. lol. I found at M&M Meat Shop a raspberry fruit frozen bar, it’s like a fudgesicle but with raspberry instead. One bar is 2 points, I haven’t had one yet (I will eat it after I am done typing) but I think it’ll be a good addition to my food options.

Also, I thought why not get some sushi for my dinner? I should have the points available to me today, might as well use em. lol. I wanted to buy the sushi from Safeway while I was grocery shopping cause the sushi packages have the nutritional info on them, I never knew sushi could be so bad for you! In the weight watchers food book they give you points for certain sushi pieces (I will put what they write about sushi on a page so you can read it there) but when I calculate the points based on the nutritional info on the package, my reaction was “oh hell no!” I picked up the brown rice california roll, there are 8 in the package, it was 10 points!!!

Here’s what Prawn Salad Wraps look like

Instead I got some Prawn Salad Wraps, there are 2 in a package and were 6 points. When I read the package I thought it was 3 points for both which seemed awsome, I should have realized it was too good to be true. lol. I double checked the nutritional info when I got home and realized that was 3 points per wrap; which really, isn’t so bad.

In the end I got two treats! The raspberry bars for later and the wraps for immediate. Worked out well.

Here’s what I ate today:

1 cup pineapple = 1 point

1 cup grapes = 1 point

1 Activia  yogurt Strawberry and Rhubarb flavour = 2 points

2 prawn salad wraps = 6 points

1 slush = 2 points

2 cups Kettle corn = 3 points

1 pepperoni pizza pop = 6 points

1 raspberry bar = 2 points

That puts me at my 23 points for the day. I noticed that this past week I didn’t eat as much fruit as the weeks before so I am going to work at increasing my fruit intake; and my veggies. I bought two salmon steaks for this coming week to help inrease my protein since I don’t get as much of that as I should. lol. Really, I don’t think I get enough of any of the things I am s’posed to – if left to my own devices I would live off pasta. This week I will still keep to my points but I am going to try to eat a more balanced diet, I will try to have protein, veggies, fruit, dairy…all that stuff, on a daily basis. Don’t know exactly how this will work out but I guess I’ll find out!